Sweaty Hands

I can’t pinpoint the start of my hyperhidrosis but I do distinctly remember this one memory that lingers in the back of my brain. I was 6 or 7 years old and I had just gotten a Star Wars Lego set. I was so excited that I think my adrenaline was going through the roof. I clearly remember being so amped up and impatiently strew the lego pieces all across the coffee table. As I began to follow the instructions, I realized I was struggling very hard to build it for some reason and the anxiety and stress made my hands extremely damp and wet. I was so scared of having done something wrong. I remember barging into the bathroom while my dad was on the toilet asking him for help but he told me that I could do this on my own, so I despondently sat back down at the edge of the coffee table and kept hacking away at it, with persistent sweaty hands. If you’ve ever built legos before, having sweaty hands suck.

I feel like Legos should be a chill relaxing activity, like doing puzzles or going for a walk but for me, they were so stressful. And I wonder if that stress contributed to my sweaty hands or if my sweaty hands made me think building legos was stressful. Either way, I have sweaty hands and a messed up nervous system now.